Holding His Own
Brussels sources have issued a statement from the office of the President of the European Parliament, stating to non-native English speaking members of the Council of Ministers that, despite unconventional informal behaviour by the President, Pat Cox is not a verb.
Downing Street sources have revealed that Clare Short may have been struck down with PMT.
This condition, known as Pro Ministerial Torsion, blights many patients working as career politicians. It is manifest in momentary instances of madness, when for instance the politician may threaten to resign, then when the public think they finally have someone in cabinet with principals and a conscience the politician cannot find the courage to walk. He/she then rebounds, or turns, from the issue, and goes back and hides behind the prime minister. The condition is exacerbated if the pm is himself completely mad and actively trying to be as great as Winston Churchill.
It is feared that the condition will always be incurable.
Chirac to run for Euro-Emperor
Sources close to the President today revealed that becoming Emperor may take just a little (only a little though) longer than originally planned.
This is because the President has inexplicably been struck down with a bout of PMT.
Presidential Moral Turpitude is manifest by a sudden abandonment of a career of lies, corruption and hedonism in a bid to be as famous and important on the world stage as great pacifists such as Ghandi and Jesus Christ were in their own time. This is done by ostentatiously pretending that you are a man of honour, peace, and good conscience, and in particular have no interest at all in Iraqi oil reserves.
UN inspectors are hoping to reach the sick president soon and are asking for more time.
US General ‘Shit’ Shithead Gunghodangerman, seconded to command the UN Euro peace keeping force said, “The Limeys have this great word for this type of Frenchman. I think its something like, er – Tanker. Personally, I’d prefer to go home to Texas.”
Putin on a show
Fantastic Russian peace monger and very wonderful human being, man with no nuclear weapons, biological weapons, or nerve gas left to speak of, of his own, is suffering from PMT.
He has caught the Presidential Moral Turpitude virus from fellow Euro-Emperor contestant, a strange man in France. It is unfortunate that when this condition is translated into the Russian language, the initials PMT become the initials KGB.
KGB syndrome is still present in its countless beaten and tortured victims throughout the country, and indeed other peoples’ countries, especially Chechnya, where they have also received a great deal of bombs, artillery and tank fire, and even nerve gas. Well they are not Christians are they?
The Russian President is able to keep his KGB syndrome in check whilst appearing in public and it is thought that he does this through self-discipline and total devotion to the creed of MAFIA.
MAFIA is a closed Orthodox Slavic sect, which it is unwise to talk any more about.
Except of course to say that MAFIA has interests in Siberian oil deposits, so obviously Putin has absolutely no need to be interested in Iraqi oil. Anyway, he is too busy still working with KGB syndrome.
Has any one else noticed how much he resembles Vladek Sheyball? Doesn’t that scare you?
Israeli a Drudge
Delightful George W. boss, ballerina, historian, Israeli leader and very wonderful human being, Yiddy Sharron has herself today admitted to being a life long PMT sufferer.
Yiddy despite her age, still very beautiful, gave an in depth interview to ace UK hack John Simpleton. Simpleton has gained a reputation for having no clue what is happening and totally ignoring what people say to him. This normally makes no difference as the British media say whatever they are told to anyway. It is however our great good fortune that it is still the fantastically magnificent heroine Sir Kate “Gallahad” Dodgey who is still Head of Bravery In The Face Of The NAZI at the BBC. Isn’t she just the very very best? Would that happen to me if I took elocution?
Sharron was trying to explain that the translation of the initials PMT into Hebrew produce initials NAZI. This, Yiddy claims, is a cruel quirk of the language, and has no bearing at all on her attitude to politics and the Palestinian people, and that there is now way it can be said that she suffers from NAZI syndrome. She went on to give a complete explanation of many other cruel quirks of the condition, and how somehow the world just ignores them, and how great that is.
John Simpleton could not remember any 20th century precedent for this.
Catch 22 – Yasserian Finds Solution
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